Professor Sims

I taught a class last year, and still have not determined if teaching is for me.  I'd like to think my students learned something, but would change about 50 things about the course if I had to do it again now.  Check out this article about using natural student tendencies to bring about fruitful learning.  This piece is particularly relevant in light of the Take-home exam my colleagues and I negotiated for a class next week :o)

Get Your Shit Together

Or your poop in a group, as I've recently started saying (gotta watch those four-letter bombs around the toddler).

Elimination communication.  Poopin in the street and in bowls.  I kid, I kid, it's much more complex than that.  See this article about it in the New York Times.

I get it.  It's good to be green.  And equally important to feel empowered to parent the way you want to parent.  But this kind of training seems developmentally inappropriate.  And further, what kind of social skills are you teaching your child during a very formative time?  The comments section alone is worth the read.  What do you think?

Getting Enough Support

If you've had a baby, you know what happens to your body post-preg.  If you haven't had a baby, or are blissfully unaware, receive the previous link with caution (or revel in it if you've chosen not to have kids!).  This, coupled with all the normal inseecurities that accompany bathing suit shopping, makes being seen half-naked very anxiety-provoking.

Dilemma #1.  Seeing yourself ten years ago, reflected in cute girls on spring break (above.  Also, go see Spring Breakers.).  I'm afraid there's nothing we can do about that one!

Dilemma #2: I made the decision long ago to continue rocking two-pieces no matter what.  I'm still confident in this decision; the only thing that belongs in the two-piece con list is the display of stretch marks that span Henry's former home.  I'm oddly proud of mine though; I see them as some sort of badge of honor.  Anyway, stretch marks are one thing, there are other concerns about the bikini.

Dilemma #3: they are not supportive, at least not in the right way.  Mainly because most of the cute ones are halters.  WTF.  For most ladies, halters lift and push up.  Now, at least for me, halters have a weird pushed-in effect.  No bueno.

Dilemma #4:  Also on the halter note.  I've been at least a full B for as long as I can remember, and halters have always placed some strain on my neck.  Now, they just plain hurt.

Dilemma #5:  The butt region.  Ladies who've had babies are not the only ones with finding a bathing suit bottom that fits.  I'd estimate that 60% of women are showing too much cheek, look like their bottoms are sand-laden, or are cutting off their circulation.  Thanks to Pure Barre, my butt actually looks pretty good.  I still like to cover up, though.  Less is definetly not more.

I think I've found a couple of options.  Check back in a few days!

Best. Housewife. Ever.

What a weird post for me to write after the one below.  But I promised you frivolity, right?

REBECCA MINKOFF IS THE NEWEST HOUSEWIFE OF NEW YORK!  

Two of my favorite things in the world are colliding.  I love RHONY - these ladies are truly ridiculous. And I have three Rebecca Minkoff purses and a slew of accessories.  Rebecca Minkoff is the poo.  I cannot wait to watch her.  Prediction: she is becomes besties with Carole and Heather and punches Ramona in the face.

Retro Feminism?

I'm pretty offended by this article.  Or maybe it's the woman/en featured in this article.  Or maybe I'm jealous.  To be honest, I'm not sure.

I got pregnant at 27 in and in my fourth month of marriage.  I should have felt perfectly wonderful and lucky, right?  Wrong.  I was terrified.  Not because of my fears about being a mother, but because I thought I would not being able to finish my program.  Getting this degree became a part of my identity a long time ago.  The thought of abandoning it was devastating.  Of course, the hormones helped dramatize things a bit, but still...

The article talked a bit (albeit not enough) about socialization.  I was socialized to believe that both parents could work.  Could.  Not should.  Some choose not to, but my mother is a natural caretaker and being a nurse was a big part of her identity.  Working and making money and reaping the benefits through shopping sprees was, too.  And people wonder where I get it...

Socialization only explains a piece of why women make the choice to work or stay home.  Money is a huge part of it, too.  The article mentions into this.

While staying home with children remains largely a privilege of the affluent (the greatest number of America’s SAHMs live in families with incomes of $100,000 a year or more), some of the biggest increases have been among younger mothers, ages 25 to 35, and those whose family incomes range from $75,000 to $100,000 a year.

I'm sorry, but in my world, a family income of 75k isn't too shabby, either.  The article bothered me a lot because of it's disregard for every family's different needs.  Most families (e.g., families where one or more people work in education) cannot afford to have one parent stay home.  Also, single parents do not have the option of staying at home.  Last, dads stay at home too, and many do a damn good job of it.  And okay, okay, I get that this article is illustrating a certain niche of American families; families that can afford this luxury.  And I believe the purpose of the article is to describe a new (?) kind of feminism, one that explains why they do it.  And I can see how some women want to be the organizers and glue of their families lives.  I think it is honorable.

However, I would like to see a follow-up cover story about why women work.  For me, it's about my identity in academia, my future clients, and the way I was raised.  And yeah, it's about certainly also about money.  I'd like to read a story about why other mothers do research, teach, work in social services, do pro bono work, etc. all while being the best mothers they can be.   And why that "best" could be better, but for the sake of a lot of things - money, personal ambition, the love of others, etc. - it isn't.  So for now, I will remain behind on my laundry.  My son will eat boxed mac n' cheese every once in a while.  My floors will go unswept.  My husband's shirts will never be ironed.  My garden will look like shit.  And I will be inadequate in so many mommy and wife ways.  But I will have my Ph.D. in a couple years, and I'll be so proud.  I'll work with other people's kids every day, and eventually, I'll be an expert at it.  And my own kids will be proud of me.